How Sex Education has shaped your life

William Pellerin - Licensed Sexologist

How Sex Education has shaped your life

What kind of sex education did you get, growing up?

Were you raised in a family where sex was presented as a good thing? Or was it something bad that you needed to avoid and/or be ashamed of?

Did your parents give you “The Talk”? Or did they avoid the subject entirely, leaving you to gather information from whatever source you could find?

Did you learn about sex from someone who was professionally trained to talk about it? Or did you learn about it from parents,  friends, teachers, or worse — the internet?

Maybe you grew up in a family where the topic of sexuality was always avoided. Even without hearing it from your parents, you quickly learned that sex wasn’t something you could talk about. It was something that had to remain hidden, like some kind of shameful secret.  And this feeling stayed with you ever since, making you feel ashamed whenever you feel sexually attracted to someone else.

Or maybe you grew up in a family where sex was explicitedly described as a bad thing. You learned that it would make you sick and ruin your life. Maybe your school even showed you extreme close-up pictures of Sexually Transmitted Infections on genitalia as a way to traumatise you into being abstinent. And because of it, you’re constantly stressed out whenever sex is brought up, or you may even be experiencing all kinds of sexual issues.

Maybe you were one of those girls who were taught that the only thing boys want is to get into your pants. While your parents probably meant to protect you from getting taken advantage of, what you learned was that men were untrustworthy, and that sex could be used as a bargaining tool to get what you want from them. And maybe, as a result, you’ve been jumping from one dysfunctional relationship to the next ever since.

Or maybe you were one of those boys who learned that “real men” had tons of sex partners, and were supposed to have an erection and be ready to go as soon as a woman stripped naked. And you’ve tried your best to live up to those standards throughout your life, even though it hasn’t been fulfilling for years. Or maybe you feel like you’re under so much pressure to perform that you either avoid sex entirely, or question your own masculinity (or even your sexual orientation) whenever you can’t get it up instantly.

Shame, unrealistic expectations, an “us VS them” approach to relationships, manipulation, sexual dysfunction, performance anxiety, fear of speaking to someone you find attractive and many more are just a few examples of the many outcomes of a less than ideal sex education.

Yet, they are among the most common stories we hear in today’s society, as most sex education leaves a lot to be desired.

The truth is, regardless of how it happened, sex education has likely shaped an important part of your life, your relationships, and even the perception you have of yourself.

And don’t get me wrong – You are not broken.

You just had a series of life experiences, which includes your sexual education, that shaped the way you viewed sex and relationships, whether these beliefs and behaviors were passed down to you from another group or person, or you came to those conclusions yourself as a way to protect yourself and survive in a less than ideal situation.

But if you’re reading this, you most likely want to move past various sexual hang ups, are looking to create the best and healthiest relationship you can, or simply want to raise your kid so they can have the best love life possible.

And if that’s the case, you’re in the right place.

As part of the coming months, I’ll regularly update this website with various articles and videos to help you better understand sex education and to give you the tools to create better relationships.

I hope you’ll enjoy it,

William Pellerin
Licensed Sexologist